If I Wrote It, You Never Would Have Believed It

When people speak about a cultural revolution they typically think of the industrial revolution, or the women's lib movement, or what occurred during the sixties when flower power uprooted the then staunch Republican mental landscape. But has anyone taken a real hard look at what is actually happening before our very glassy eyes? Because what I'm perceiving when I watch and listen to the three front runners for the Oval Office seems nothing short of a cataclysmic cultural change.

Let's begin by breaking down the principle characters vying for Amerca's top job.
We have America's first viable female presidential candidate - Hillary Clinton
We have Americas' first viable male First Lady - Bill Clinton
We have Americal's first viable black presidential candidate - Barack Obama
And at 72, We have America's oldest presidential candidate - John McCain

I mean really........if I wanted to write a novel about a political campaign that had a woman, a black man and an elderly citizen all in the same presidential race, running neck to neck, who I ask, with my pen to paper, who in their literary right mind would buy the premise, nevermind the book? I mean really!

To be considered a good writer, it's important to flesh out your characters. You know, give every character in your story a meaty backstory readers can get their teeth into. Here again, the fleshing out is so overdone no reader could be expected to actually swallow the stuff. Yet, let's remember to keep in mind, we are not talking about fictional characters. Imaginary, made up people the author has conjured up. These three individuals are very much alive and supposedly the best this country can come up with to steer our national vessel back into safe, secure waters.

Let's begin with our first female candidate's backstory. Talk about backstory! It doesn't get much better than this. What better way to learn how to navigate the best route to the White House except to be married to a former president? To all the little bright eyed girls today waiting to grow up to become president, that has got to be just as inspiring as being told to go to college to marry a doctor was back in the fifties.

Nonetheless, in spite of that misstep her character is fittingly portrayed as a brilliant mother, wife, daughter and campaign strategist. And as First Lady of her country she did demonstrate great morale character and tremendous respect for the other human species - men. Or more to the point - her husband, who we learn as the story unfolds is not only a former two time president, he was also a former two timer. Hillary has been married to this same man for as long as she can remember being married and he not only cheated on her dozens of times, he is the first man in any culture's history to be impeached for it! How horny can one man get?

However when Hillary's character is finally confronted with the truth and learns her adulterous husband has indeed cheated on her behind a closed door, in her home, on her watch, she remains at his side, steadfast loyal throughout the most vile of days, even defending him when his back is violently tarred and feathered. Some critics have said this is a strong, positive, female character who should be held up as a role model for wives whose husbands have strayed. Others have sneered and remarked that the character is such a stretch, it's more comical, almost laughable, and makes for a sad commentary on marriages in the media.

Still, on the back of that ragged and torn coattail she whips her forlorn image back into shape long enough to make a congressional name for herself that may take her all the way back to the homestead she and her husband have always loved the best. And if the Hillary character does emerge as our first female commander-in-chief, her saga will widen and grow more incredulous as we watch her husband shapes what he wants from becoming this country's first male First whatever.

Here the emotional components that lent both the husband and wife characters their political astute steel and strategy is urgently torn asunder as the gender-bender juxaposition becomes absurd and even too contrived for this fan of Bill reader's taste.

Now to Obama's backstory. His character is the least fleshed out since the author provides him with a very weak political background. His whole experience doesn't add up to enough time to even find the Senate's men's room. But is there ever a lot of character plot here.

First, we all know as Americans that religious background can essentially make or break a candidate. Here the candidate has essentially none. None!!! How can that point have missed the author's flowchart notes. Oh his stepfather occasionally entered a mosque but who in America's political climate today would want to be labeled a muslim? A black muslim no less. That leaves us assessing his biological parents. There we have a father who was an atheist and a mother who did not practice any religion. Wow! What was this author thinking? I mean talk about a huge void! How can any candidate, presidential no less, expect to get any votes if he or she doesn't have a religious base to start off with.

And if that wasn't enough to throw away a candidacy, the author bestows this character with a name that will never roll off anyone's tongue as easily as Osama Bin Laden's. I mean can it get any worse for this guy?

But here again, like all the interesting twists the author throws in for Hillary's backstory, here we have not just the first viable black candidate. The character is written in as mulatto. Which if you think about it probably makes a lot more sense. Because in terms of this country possibly voting in its first black skin president, since mulatto means half black half white, this candidacy is a really clever way of gradually desensitizing America to the possibility of having a black president.

A better way perhaps of breaking in America's prejudiced populace slowly to the idea of actually electing a full blood black man. This element of surprise makes the race card for bigots a difficult hand to play. Even our character at times isn't sure which hand to play but his black and white supporters don't seem to care so long as he doesn't utter one word that could be interrupted as racist or discriminating or disturbing. The fact that there's no substance in his speeches is a non starter when the message he articulates is so clear.

Which brings us to the third candidate. A senior citizen who has a senatorial record that started flip flopping long before he ever cried into George Bush's chest asking for his father's forgiveness like a rebellious teen.

But the author keeps pumping in extraordinary backstory items and this character certainly does not disappoint. In this chapter we are swept along on a very painful yet courageous and inspiring journey as this character is held five and a half years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Suffering horrors and mental anguish no one except other POW's could ever imagine, his story is extraordinary, plus an exceptionally difficult backstory to ignore.

But this character has one major flaw. Even though every presidential candidate wants to become president of the United States so badly they would make a pact with the devil if they thought it would do the trick. This character actually does that. For how else can a candidate who is left to die alone and bleeding at the beginning of the campaign race come back in perfect pitch to win the nomination? How else can one man live to tell the story of so many tales of courage in one lifetime?

By now I'm sure you're asking yourself how come there's no mention of which candidates are running on which ticket? Who's blue, who's red? Who's Dems or Reps? Where's all of that good ole white boy right wing left wing stuff to ruminate on?

Well believe me, that's not an oversight on my part. You'd have to ask the author of this book that question because he doesn't provide one word, sentence or paragraph to distinguish which campus, club or community these three politicians are campaigning from.

But if I had to give an opinion, personally I think the author just isn't a very good writer, so in order to make up for a lack of literary ability he just let his mind go wild and threw in everything but the kitchen sink to make a strong case for either.